I don't know whether or not I should be worried right now. I don't think I should because there's no real reason why I should be... that's what my sober side is telling me. And I think that one is smarter than the side that isn't sober. But I really don't know. I'm kinda anxious maybe. I feel like I have a lot of things to do and need to fit them into a time constraint. But I don't really need to do that either... I don't think. Or maybe it's just because I'm going to be seventeen in four days and I need to do as much cool 16 year old things to do as I can between now and four days from now. I like and dislike the sound of that. I'll be seventeen. Meaning that I can do seventeen year old things. But I don't know if I did enough 16 year old things. I feel like a little girl in a pink dress when writing this. I'm writing about my age as if it's some big ordeal in my life right now or a mid life crisis type thing. I was just saying today to Karli that age is a matter of mind. And yeah, I'm sixteen (or is it seventeen? oh well, who's counting?). but I'm not little. Compare me to Karli and you tell me who is little.
Anyway... Like.. what if I didn't do a good job as a sixteen year old? I'll never be sixteen again so I really don't want to fuck this up. Or I could fuck it up real good and like kill myself somehow. Then I'd never have to worry about not sending out a good sixteen year old resume. Right? Maybe.
My brain talks to itself when it thinks. If I could put my exact thoughts as the words go through my head onto paper, that would be it.
WHOA you're right! It DOESN'T make sense...
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