I wish I could get inside of peoples heads and see myself how THEY see me. It's weird. Really. I look at pictures of people in my school and I see them how I see them because I sort-of know them, right... But if I really concentrate on them I can see them just as pictures of people who look like whores. You know? All I need is for someone to tell me they know what I'm talking about so I can make more sense out of this...
I've come to realize that there is no winning in my future. I mean... why even bother anymore? Every argument I get myself into will always end up with me at fault. A while ago Caitlin told me that I always think I'm right. And it's true. That's why people argue. She always thinks she's right too. She just doesn't realize it. She doesn't solve her problems. Instead she makes "deals" like the one where she said that if any of us was saying something about someone else while they weren't there we would stop each other. That lasted an all of two seconds, if that much. People are weak and insecure. Me included. Except to make myself feel better, I do something productive with myself. I have nothing to hide from anyone... and if I do have something to hide from anyone, I'll hide it from EVERYONE. I don't need to make myself feel better by putting other people down. That's what sets me apart from other people.
People think that toying with my respect is a joke. I just think we're not friends anymore.
Start climbing the ladder again, if you care.
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