I didn't know where I was. I still don't know where I was but somehow ended up at my house, in my bedroom perfectly fine.
This was two (?) nights ago when I snuck out of my house to go and hang out with Vinny and Eric and smoke and things. On the way back to my house we went some weird way... everything looked familiar as far as landmarks go but everything else was completely different. 25A grew about 700 million more trees in random places, and rearranged the side roads so they aren't in the same spots as they are when I am sober. This is when I was sure of how high I was.
About the eating disorder... I don't feel smaller but I can slip myself out of my pants without unbuttoning them and I don't think it's a likely case that all of my pants stretched. I mentioned it to Candice and she thinks that it's something stress/emotionally related. I can sort of see that but I didn't think that my only reason to be stressed had really affected me this much. I guess I was wrong. I don't eat in the morning when I wake up because I can never find any food that is appealing to me. So I wait until the next opportunity. Which isn't lunch because I'm home alone all day every day and the options since then have not changed. I do feel hungry by this point but I ignore it because there's nothing to eat. When dinner comes I usually just eat what my mom makes because there's nothing I could suggest for her to make for me because there is nothing that is appealing to me. When I do eat that, I can hardly get it down my throat. I feel like vomiting.
I've completely let myself go since I started smoking more. I can see it.
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